We Love Zoflora

We love Zoflora. We love every single thing about it, and we love it more than almost every non animate thing. And (and look away now Mrs Gin) even, perhaps, more than some animate things. Very bloody animated things. Perhaps. I love it from the moment I see the aisle in Sainsburys. (Damn you Aldi, […]

#List of Hate: 2 Cereal Crumbs

Monday morning, forced jovillity pouring out of the radio. Kids bicker whilst you think of all the things to do at work. Noise, and brutal weather. Load the dishwasher whilst trying to straighten your tie, load the cars, set the burglar alarm, whose effectiveness you always ominously suspect, and away to do the day And […]


A new regular series where we (well, mainly Ms Tonic) gets stuff off our chest. This is an odly specific one. People who iron in the kitchen at 7.45am every day and then leave the clothes hangers lying around. They also tend to iron in front of the cupboard where the cereal and cereal bowls […]

Review: Toilet Duck

Quick: What’s the funniest product in the cleaning ailse? Easy question, isn’t it. The answer is the Toilet Duck, subject of this week’s review. It comes in ‘Pine’, ‘Marine’ and ‘Citrus’ We went for ‘Marine’ of course, the aquatic connection being the closest to the duck. This led us to a -to us – interesting […]


#Things we love to love. ##1) Storms. Let’s be honest. Who doesn’t love a fucking good storm? There is one outside at the moment. Nature is having a temper tantrum, raving and screaming and hurling itself in fury against my bricks and my roof. But I’ll put money on my house surviving. Perhaps that is […]

New on the site this week

This week on Bleach and Tonic – “The quirky side to cleaning” ™, we’ll have an in depth review of the new 3D replacement Vileda supermop. We also had a series planned called ‘people who should be shot’ (featuring people who live in £750k houses but shop at oxfam and go on about how expensive […]

#Top14 Zoflora: Number 1.

![Insert](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d1/Mount_Everest_as_seen_from_Drukair2_PLW_edit.jpg”/> Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached the summit. What is the greatest Zoflora of all? Why, it is Linen Fresh of course. How could it not be? Oh, how could it not? Our first love, and still the greatest. Everything about this is perfection, from the blue colour of the packaging, to the name, […]