Roomba iRobot review. The future is here and it’s shit.

But we can’t help loving it The wife, Mrs Gin (and please don’t write in saying that’s sexist, it isn’t), hates it. She thinks the Roomba has a foot fetish and goes straight for her toes every time it ‘senses’ them. As an aside, the foot fetish is an odd fetish, isn’t it? We’ve never […]

Bloo total review: Our extinction gift.

Neither day nor night Astonishing times, indeed.  Signs of the transformation are everywhere – the lockdowns, the general unpleasantness, and, most disquieting of all, the fact it has not rained in Manchester for neither 40 days nor nights. Yes, the prophets and the books of wisdom are true:  The world as we knew it is ending, […]

Shake ‘n’ Vac.  A classic after all?

Fish ‘n’ chips Chas ‘n’ Dave  Shake ‘n’ Vac It seems if you want to be a great British institution, you need to abbreviate the ‘and’ to the much jauntier ”n”.  Bleach And Tonic.  Bleach ‘n’ Tonic, then?    Hmm.  Food for thought. Hmm indeed. Hang on a minute though.  Let’s take a look at […]

Our washing machine history is a metaphor for the postwar socio-economic history of Britain. If that title does not intrigue you, then go fuck yourself, basically.

Bastard Hoover. Bastard, bastard Hoover.  Fuck them. Fuck ’em.  Dyson should roll into their HQ in armoured cars and flatten it.  Raze everything in a 20 mile radius to the ground and sow salt into the soil.  All memory of them should be expunged from the history books.  Hoovers should be hung from every lamppost […]