Did Zoflora vote ‘Leave’ ? A Bleach and Tonic special investigation

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Unsettling times. Bad times. Terrible times, if we’re honest. The morans have taken over the asylum. We at Bleach and Tonic still can’t get over, won’t get over Brexit. Incredible. The City of London, a trillion dollar industry, up the spout because some racist pensioner in Consett voted leave.


==A typical ‘Leave’ voter==

All over the country, racist shitholes voted leave:

Huddersfield. Bedtown, Oldham, Nunthorpe, Rowlam, Bristol.

Hang on a minute. Which industrial chemical manufacturer do we know in Huddlesfield?


==we’ve driven, walked and – yes – snooped down this road so many times==

That’s right

Thornton and Ross, who we don’t need to tell you (but we will anyway) manufacture Zoflora.


==Our internet home page==

55% of Huddersfield voted leave.

Very unsettling. Now, ordinarily we’d flat out to refuse any of them that worked there had anything less that PHds in Advanced perfume studies from Oxbridge. These are educated people, and therefore would have definitely voted ‘Remain’. Ordinarily we’d assume that the people who worked at Zoflora were angels put on earth to guide us to a better place. A cleaner place. A place that did not smell of Mrs Gin’s shoes.

More worrying however, is this;


==exhibit A==

Zoflora Green Valley. Take a look at the promotional web page. Wouldn’t you say that looked a bit ‘idylic English’? A bit old fashioned? A teensy bit, dare we say it, ‘leave’?

Ms Tonic adores this stuff. Loves it. She has upwards of 15 bottles of Zoflora in her house and has been raving on whatsapp over this. Do let us know if you would like us to add you to our Whatsapp zoflora discussion group. It’s a lot of fun:

However, we cannot get over the sneaking suspicion that its all part of their ‘Leave’ propaganda. In fact, Mrs Gin says it looks the type of stuff he‘d bathe in.


==cunt==

Say it ain’t so Zoflora!

Sadly, we can’t actually ask them if they voted leave as they blocked one of our twitter accounts and ignore the other one. It kind of makes this ‘special investigation’ actually a bit of a farce but we’ve typed it all in now, so fuck you.

We could never forgive anyone for voting ‘Leave’ but could we forgive Zoflora? Oh who are we kidding? Of course we could. We love you Zoflora. (Even if you have blocked us on twitter again)

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