Harpic MAX 10: Alien Snot

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Maybe we’re mellowing.

At one point, we’d have loved this stuff. And at one point we’d have denounced Method Almond Floor Cleaner as nun’s piss.

I mean listen to this

We used to reserve our floor cleaning for very special occasions—like limbo night or the queen’s visit. but this non-toxic + biodegradable no-wax wood floor cleaner turns a chore into an almond-scented delight. just squirt, mop and bask in the glow of a gleaming clean. formulated for sealed hardwood and laminate floors.

Doesn’t that make you want to break into the head of method cleaner’s house, and shit on their fucking floor?

However. However.

You become what you hate

And now we are in the awkward position of looking at this:

And whilst we are thrilled to see ‘Urine’ used on packaging, we were worried that this Harpic was much like last year’s dismal effort.

And, dear reader, we were right. This stuff is just so viscous and green. It’s the greenest stuff ever invented

It’s just too hardcore. Foolishly we’ve bought two bottles of it. We’ve given one away as a birthday gift but we’re stuck with the other one. I know what you’re thinking ‘just pour it away’, but we’re worried that a fish coming into contact with a whole bottle’s worth of this at once would mutate into some alien style superfish and destroy humanity.

We worry a lot, as it happens

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