#Hatelist: People who complain about the nice weather

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Manchester basks tropical in the heat. Tarmac melt and terraced houses sweat, red faced.

All is good.

But is it, really?

No. Hence this #hatelist.

You know what is ruining this perfect moment? Moaners. Whingers. Victims. People complaining. People, basically.

People who complain about the heat should be burnt to death. We get what, 10 truly hot days a year. Surely we should be allowed to enjoy them in peace with out a cacophony of moaning that it’s too damned hot.

I can’t sleep.
It’s too hot.
I can’t think.
It’s too hot.
I’m too sweaty.
It’s too hot.

Boo hoo hoo

It’s not too damned fucking hot. It’s Manchester! How can it be too hot? These people, ironically, make my blood fucking boil.

“I’ll give you heat”

I think, violently and – so far – impotently to myself.

“I’ll boil you alive you bastard. Then we’ll see about heat”

I don’t say that, of course, I just think it. All I say is a sigh.

In thirty days from now summer will be well and truly over. Then you know what we’ll be forced to listen to on our commute? Strangers going on about how it’s freezing.

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