Into the heart of Darkness with Aldi ‘Power Force’ Toilet Gel: Review

Scroll this

We’ve said before that Aldi offers little to the amateur cleaning enthusiast; based on our experience, whilst it does not have the same cheery immorality as Ocado, it does seem a bit seedy. Also, it does not sell Zoflora, either.

We’ll leave it to you to determine which of those we judge to be the worst crime. We love Zoflora.

It does have one thing going for it, though. Needing a Valentines card- and quick – we popped into the Didsbury branch.

Avoiding all those hateful people who live in million pound houses and yet still pretend to be bohemian students, ‘oh look at us, we’re not going to Tesco where things are ordered, oh no. We’re being wacky. We’re revelling in the chaos of Aldi with the mentalness on the shelves. Coffee next to gherkins? Why not tra la? It reminds me of when we were travelling on holiday and we found this charming little marke..’ We’re going to stop there. We are annoying ourselves.

Scouling, we went first, of course, to the cleaning ailse and then to this.

Handcrafted (lol, as my children say). We don’t know what is more depressing; that it is a blatent lie or that, actually, a team of trained artisans did spend hours crafting each individual leaf. As an aside, we are reading My Name is Red at the moment. That has a lot on handcrafting and engraving. Somewhat too much, if we are being honest. We’ve still got another 300 pages to go.

Anyway, we bought both of the above for under 2 quid and in anyone’s book that has to be a bargain

Or does it?

Perhaps my mother was right and you do get what you pay for.

We got it home and unpacked

Do, please, excuse that tea towel and oven glove combo. Mrs Gin leaves it there. Every time we see it, it annoys us. One day we will snap and perhaps strangle her with those fucking tatty oven gloves.

Only joking, darling, happy valentines!

We went upstairs and squirted it in the pan:

At first we thought ‘We’ve found a treasure, here’. Nothing, ever, can replace the ‘bloo sweet tulip shaped hole in our heart‘ but we actually thought it might be close.

The smell was nice. Above the cistern, we had a bottle of domestos. Now, domestos may be all well and good. (You can read our three page Christmas special review here, here and here and you will find that, indeed it is good) but it lacks one thing.

Smell

It’s all well and good putting half a bottle down and wiping out every germ in our sewer from here to the River Mersey, but we want to know we’ve done it. We want to retire to our chamber at night and tuck ourself in as the stench of bleach permates the house, cloyingly. And you just don’t get that with domestos.

So, as the scent hit us, understated, we were pleased.

We’d previously noted the flavour was ‘aqua’. We’ve pondered this a lot. Perhaps too much. We can see the allure of the scent names ‘pine’ or ‘citrus’, but what the fuck is aqua? What is it even supposed to smell of? The only thing we can think is ‘water’. Not a great smell.

We left the bathroom happy. The next time we visited it, this time not for a review but for, er, something else, we flushed. And look:

spot the difference with that other photo up there ^ (I can’t be bothered linking to it again)

The fucking stuff sticks on like superglue!

This junk is even worse than toilet duck! At least Toilet Duck is inherantly funny.

This stuff sticks like napalm. These photos were taken on Friday morning. It’s now Sunday night. Admittedly, I’ve been out most of the weekend but look, it still clings to life in the bowl (Sounds like the name of a good David Attenborough, that)

Ridiculous. That’s not clean, that is a stain

My mother was right. You get what you pay for. Luckily, it was cheap, most of the money going on the card.

Let’s take another look

And they say you can’t buy love

Submit a comment