Live blogging: Zoflora Orchid Review. Part 1

We fled the city, after storms drove us south:

That sounds very exciting. Unfortunately, it’s not true. We’re away with work.

As Bleach and Tonic by necessity operates under conditions of maximum secrecy, We can’t say where we are exactly, but here is a clue:

(It’s Shrewsbury). ‘Shreewsbury’ we say. Others say ‘Shrowsbury’, though.

Is there a place in England more divisive when it comes to pronunciations? Reading? More rudely, Cockermouth, perhaps, or Scunthorpe

Anyway, we are now – LIVE! – in Greggs, which seems to have re-branded itself as not a place for the chavs to slop gloop into their fat
gobs, but rather a high class coffee shop. Perhaps, the idea place for a first Tinder date?


Anyway, what has driven us to LIVEBLOG our ZOFLORA ORCHID Review this fine Saturday morning?

Hang on someone is approaching us

Right, sorry about that. We had to leave Greggs. They didn’t like us taking photos. We did tell them we were live blogging our reivew of the hitherto UNDISCOVERED Zoflora Orchid, but they were unmoved.

So now we’re in Costa:

Note the starbucks card. We’re using Costa’s O2 Free Wifi to download a free song we got from Starbucks

Take that global corporations!

Well, after 215 words, to get back to the actual point of this review, what has driven us to liveblog? Simply this; perhaps shamefully (perhaps even criminally), we’d never heard of Zoflora Orchid before. We peruse at least twice a day and have never even seen a sniff of it:

Can you imagine our excitement when we saw it in £saver just now?

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You get the idea. We were astounded to see this in the stores. Were this the stupid iWatch, you’d have had people queuing overnight in £stretcher to get their grubby mitts on this stuff. As it was, it was just there. Both simultaneously banal and awe inspiring It’s like meeting God herself in the carpark of a supermarket, searching in her purse for a quid to unlock a trolley.

Upon purchasing it, we did two things. Number 1, Rang Ms Tonic, and 2 retired to the Greggs to tell the world, just like St Paul, that yes it exists, and yes it’s wonderful.

Zoflora Orchid

More thoughts coming soon. This is a bit unstructured, sorry, We’re just so excited.

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