Method Almond Floor Cleaner: Review

We’ve looked at Method products before.

We were not impressed. But last week, when we made another desperate attempt to engage our cleaner in some harmless banter, we asked them what they thought about Zoflora (our normal opening gambit in conversations).

“Ah used it” said the cleaner, with a doubtful look, but then her face lit up, “But I tell you what I do love” she said

“Method Almod Floor Cleaner”

Now it was our turn to look doubtful. We have not told the cleaner about Bleach and Tonic, we’ve not really told that many people. We find that sometimes our earnestness in talking about it makes people look awkward. Look at their shoes, and then leave perhaps more quickly than either they, or us, had previously planned. So we hadn’t told her about our well documented thoughts on method products.

To impress her – we’ve got this ridiculous desire to make friends with people we don’t need to – we bought some on our next Sainsburys shop.

We sniffed as Mrs Gin unloaded the bags. Our first thought was, yes, it was nutty

But warmth instilled by the smell was dissipated by the instructions. Squirt directly on the floor, it said. We’ve seen this before, too

People are probably doing this willy nilly now, “oh yeah, diluting bleach in a good old fashioned bucket before applying it ot the floor is so passe. I just squirt it directly on the floor inbetween, I dunno, synching my icloud contacts and writing hashtags on instagram or something’. All terribly fucking modern

Well, fuck you modern.

In any case, we bought it so we squirted it on, feigning competence, feinging noncholance, and I am aware that’s not how you spell it.

Thoughts: It’s alright. Underwhelming, really, but OK. The smell is very nice, kind of autumnual, which isn’t ideal when you are trying to usher in spring, but that’s not really Method’s fault. The smell sure as hell doesn’t last long, about half as long as Zoflora which (as we know) would not really be using words like ‘permanance’ and ‘endurance’ were it to commission brand managers to brain storm its core values

Mrs Gin can’t be doing with it. She is very dubious about it(as she is about most things to be fair), preferring instead ‘good old fashioned washing up liquid for me floor cleaning’, (God I love that woman, in a way).

I concur. There’s a whole wiff of style over substance with this stuff, and the style is etheral to start with

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