Plague Journal 7: Is Covid a load of bollocks?

Being honest with yourself is terrible advice. The worst. Wait. Almost the worst. The worst – of course – is the execrable ‘Follow your dreams’. Oh we’ve remembered another one which dicked us down good, too: Tell her how you feel. Yeah, thanks Dad. No.

Ruby, ruby red.

The only way we – like you – manage to exist is by constant lies to ourselves. That angle in the mirror is not how we look, you will find purpose in your life. Things will get better, even almost. Lie, lie comforting lie. We did try that ‘Tell her’ once. Even – 7353 days later – just remembering that conversation with her makes us blush. A tsunami of blood from the toes upwards to the cheeks. That was it for us, love was over. A rose to be deadheadded as soon as the first buds appeared.

So: be honest with yourself. Follow your dreams, and talk about your feelings?

Hoary old bollocks

No, no and nope. Button it up, hide your feelings and get on with things. But how can you get on with things, when there is nothing to get on with? When Covid has antiquated everything from haircuts to smashed avocado?

So, to go back; bad advice as it is, be honest with yourself:

Are these people right? Is Covid a load of bollocks?


No, no nope. Bummer.

It’d be nice if it were though Imagine being this proud of your selfishness:

How much easier would life be were you to burrow so far from reality? How much cosier? We tried to try it.

“This Covid is bollocks though, isn’t it?”, we asked Mrs Gin. Maybe if she agreed we could go on this journey together. After all, if being honest with yourself is bad advice, then lying must be good. We could fashion our own reality, one of denial and optimism. Of hope, almost even.

She just arched an eyebrow and went back to painting her toenails with her panic bought polish. And – unlike the new world Covid has created – that was that.

Image credits:

“I want a haircut” – twitter via https://twitter.com/kharyp/status/1251714478124732416/photo/1

Let my people golf – arguably even more fucking idiotic – Twitter via https://twitter.com/PollerPhoto/status/1251690324000337921/photo/1

“Give me liberty or give me death – Twitter via https://twitter.com/SethAbramson/status/1251914644366729220/photo/1