Review: Shake ‘n’ Vac

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Forget the hot topics of the day. Scottish Independance, The Pistoris trial (I can’t believe I have spelt that right, but that squiggly red line hasn’t appeared), the plight of that Malaysian Airways plane (The creative director of Bleach And Tonic, Helen, thinks it was hijacked by mobsters and crash landed on a desert island somewhere. That’s what we are dealing with here, people). All boring.

 

What divides opinion in our house, what drives a wedge between husband and wife, what threatens to tear our unity apart, what comes between brother and brother is Shake ‘n’ Vac

(To be honest, the kids don’t really care that much)

 

My wife absolutely hates the stuff, while, I, well, read on to find out my opinon in this review, though, yes, the guess you’ve made (a bit presumptuously in my opion) is correct.

 

‘You do the Shake ‘n’ Vac and BLANK. If you are of a certain age, you are already humming the tune.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=I8CTscW3dpI

 

Classic. (Belive it or not I actually have the mp3 of that as my alarm clock song). Hmm, I maybe those squiggly red lines aren’t working and Pistoris is actually spelt incorrectly because I am sure that’s not how you spell ‘belive’). What a great advert. In a way you have to admire the whole anti eco thing of the 80s. ‘Here is a chemical we douse the house in’ is the subtext of that advert. ‘Hey, at least it’s not as bad as smoking’

 

My wife loathes the stuff, saying it smells like chemicals. To my mind,there’s nothing wrong with smelling like chemicals. I want the house to stink of chemicals.

 

Sometimes you just need to pretend you live in Middlesbrough next to the ICI chemicals factory. And you need to throw those metaphorical windows wide open to let the smell in.

 

Looking on the website (so you don’t have to), I see the ingredients of Shake ‘n’ Vac are:

CALCIUM CARBONATE
CALCIUM MAGNESIUM CARBONATE
SILICON DIOXIDE
FRAGRANCE

 

I’ve never heard of any of those, but I am slightly disappointed by that list. I love seeing ingredients on chemical bottles listing all kinds of scary sounding chemicals. Calcium carbonate just sounds a bit..flat.

 

Anyway, I love ‘Shake ‘n’ Vac’ and I use it every time I hoover (around twice a day). I love the way it falls, soft as nasty snow, and I love the way it swirls in the Dyson when I hoover it up. I love how it smells, and I also love how, when I empty the Dyson, the rubbish smells nice.

Summary: So good you could snort it (don’t actually snort it)

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