We start our review series with the big one. No messing about. In my eyes, this is a greater statement of human achievement than the Pyramids. Any bozo can stick some bricks on top of other bricks. But it takes real genius to make something which cleans this well to smell this good.
Seriously, lets start with the smell. It smells like a summer’s day. But not just a normal one, a perfectly clean one. Your partner is out somewhere, making a mess somewhere else. (‘This tea bag? Oh, I’ll just leave it here’) and you are at home. The sun is streaming through your spotless windows, the sheets are billowing on the line and Ludvico Einaudi (google it philistine) is on the stereo. You know your partner will come clumping back in soon, shedding clothes on the floor like an overdressed snake, switching every light on the house on (even though it’s still bloody light) eating a egg sandwich and then dumping the frying pan in the sink ‘for later’.
Imagine a day as perfect that, (that first bit), now imagine how it would smell, now imagine what a towering achievement it is to put that smell in a bottle and sell it for about a quid.
You can stick the pyramids right up your arse
This is where it is at:
Bleach and Tonic RATING **********10/10
Cleaning ability 10/10
‘A must have for any home and the first thing to save in a fire after the dyson’