Now winter draws in cruel and cold and the night presses its frozen nose up against the window. A coctail of ice and jealousy. A cold clamp, compression. The hibernation of hope. Wind whispers through the keylock and from my kids buttocks and we huddle inside. Outside, perpetual darkness shudders against the frost.
But oh, the inside. Inside we are warm and snug. We have the curtains drawn and wine mulling things over and we are burning the fossils of million year old plants in our coal fire.
And on the floor and, yes, on occasion on our walls too, we have this
So much to love here. Let’s start from the top.
The genuiuses (geni?) have gone with 2 great marketing go to slogans.
First the ‘limited edition’. Bang, there you have it; the illusion of scarcity and a rumuniation of the fact that every single thing in the universe is transitory
You can see why Apple Computers copy Thornton and Ross Ltd so much in both product design and marketing. I’d not be surprised if the fact this was limited caused 5 day queues outside Home Bargains in Rotherham. I myself presently own five bottles of the stuff; three for usage, one for emergencies and one for my display cabinent. Here are three
Second, the’in 1 action’ (although, tragically, Zoflora seem unaware of the giant leaps that have been made in the whole ‘in 1’ world
The main thing which caught my eye, however, was this bit:
Look its fucking Santa Claus with a fat labourer’s finger nail with comedy ‘drunk’ bubbles coming off his hand! Isn’t that just adorable? Doesn’t it remind you of drunk Captain Haddock out of Tintin?
Scratch and Sniff
Boom! This changes EVERYTHING. How long before apple incorporate Scratch and Sniff advertising into their macbook pro / air line up? Can only be weeks. Another Bleach and Tonic exclusive no doubt.
Now, onto the stuff itself.
Now, my wife thinks and I quote
That smells like shit
But my wife knows fuck all about cleaning. She has 7 (seven) novels UNDER her side of the bed, for instance.
This stuff is glorious. If I were a single man who had gone on match dot com (interests: libraries and cleaning would have them lining up) I’d wear this stuff as cologne on the subsequent dates. (‘all day freshness’)
It smells deep of roasted cloves with a scattering of cinnamon on top. In fact the smell of cloves is so what some would say overpowering that I am a bit surprised they didn’t clove it Hot Cloves.
It smells so Christmasy’ too, as Xmasy as Mrs Claus’ clunge. Winter can last as long as it likes, let it rage white outside. Inside, I have warmth, and books (albeit) and this.
For summer, Linen Fresh. For winter, Warm Cinnamon. Aside from
my life is perfect