#Top14 Zoflora: Number 1.

![Insert](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d1/Mount_Everest_as_seen_from_Drukair2_PLW_edit.jpg”/> Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached the summit. What is the greatest Zoflora of all? Why, it is Linen Fresh of course. How could it not be? Oh, how could it not? Our first love, and still the greatest. Everything about this is perfection, from the blue colour of the packaging, to the name, […]

#Top14 Zofloras: 2. ‘Move him into the sun’

![Insert](/content/images/2015/01/vlcsnap-2015-01-02-23h28m15s148.png”/> The world turns, Friday comes and I watch ‘Escape from Alcatraz’ with my son. And, as we watch, I touch type and I can’t belive what I am typing. I want to absolve myself of all responsibility for what I am about to type. If militant Zoflorists come for us following the declaration of […]

Top#14 Zofloras: 3

![Image credit: https://digitaldidascalia.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/skyfall-casino-scene.jpg](https://digitaldidascalia.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/skyfall-casino-scene.jpg”/> Apologies for the delay. We forgot the password. Incredible, really, but there you go. What can we say, there is a lot going on in the world. Most of it bad. On the other hand, and this is I’ll admit not relevant, I just BOMBED the house with Dettol. Doused the whole […]

#Top14 Zofloras. 4

Well, this is going to be short. We’ve never used this and apart from the slightly worrying observation that for some reason the name makes us think of an old lady’s mimsy, we have nothing to say about it, at all. Ladies And Gentlemen, we give you: Er, no that’s not right. We mean Twighlight […]

Top#14 Zofloras: 5

Photo credit: https://amritahealthfoods.com/ This one had us riven. You know how, over Christmas, there is always something which will cause an argument so murderous that bad violence is the only answer? Well, in South Manchester (if you count the wythenshawe district, where Ms Tonic lives, as South Manchester), ruby red blood was almost spilt dirty […]

#Top14 Zofloras: 6

![Insert](http://i1.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article1780987.ece/alternates/s615/Path%20through%20the%20bluebell%20wood%20at%20Coton%20Manor,%20Northamptonshire.jpg”/> Now this one’s a BELTER. Even the name will have you frothing. Bluebell Woods Boom. We used to live in Hampshire, “Close and Slow, summer is ending in Hampshire” Louis Macneice, again And there was a wood called the Chase. We spent approx seven fifths of our lives in that wood until we had […]

#Top14 Zofloras: 7

Photo credit http://thehenrybrothers.files.wordpress.com We’re up to the giddy heights of number 7 now. We thought about this list, a lot, as we walked alone, along the coast over the so called holiday. The tide lapped at our feet teasingly. Gulls cawed, bored, and the sea shushed them, waving the sound away with salted indifference. Our […]

#Top14 Zofloras: 8

We don’t like this one. The fact that this is as high as #8 is down to the fact that Ms Tonic drew up the majority of the list. I just asked my wife, Ms Gin about this one ‘it stinks like shit’. Sincere Apologies for the language but accuracy is everything in cleanliness. From […]

Top #14 Zofloras: 9

Last night I went out for our christmas party. As a matter of fact, I went back to the restaurant which, as we have discovered was actually a testing ground for the pharmaceutical company behind Glade Air Freshener. I got drunk, dear reader. Ship wrecked and faced off against three Welsh IT developers. I threatened […]

#Top14 Zofloras: 10

This one is one we use the most. In the same way that we never read ‘the last battle’ as a youth, because it would mean we have read them all, we use #top14 number ten: Springtime all the time because we don’t really like it. The joy of using it is that we get […]