When we did our count down of the top 14 Zofloras of all time, Zoflora Linen Fresh was at both number 1 and number 2. How could it not be? How could it not be? Zoflora Linen Fresh: Too great to just be number one. This is the greatest summit of human achievement of all […]

We fled the city, after storms drove us south: That sounds very exciting. Unfortunately, it’s not true. We’re away with work. As Bleach and Tonic by necessity operates under conditions of maximum secrecy, We can’t say where we are exactly, but here is a clue: (It’s Shrewsbury). ‘Shreewsbury’ we say. Others say ‘Shrowsbury’, though. Is […]

Manchester, this morning (artistic reconstruction) #Summer time and the living is queasy. We wake up drenched in sweat. Take off our inch thick fleece pyjamas and climb out from under the blanket, the 13 tog duvet and the other blanket. Look out the window. Heavy sun hangs fat in the sky, hazy behind just ten […]

My unhappiness grips like a vice. It’s a tangible object, a constant pressure on my skin. I can feel the pressure from it, tighter and tighter. The unshed tears behind my eyes swell and the pressure threatens to make my head burst. My skin and my smiling family are warmed by the watery sun but […]

For reasons which are too tedious to explain, we were recently and reluctantly put on a diet. As a part of this regime, we were asked about our eating habits. This was not a plesant interview. As we lied, we salivated. “Oh no, generally I am very healthy” we heard ourselves say. We astounded ourselves. […]

![Insert](http://i.imgur.com/e63XGxN.jpg”/> Now winter draws in cruel and cold and the night presses its frozen nose up against the window. A coctail of ice and jealousy. A cold clamp, compression. The hibernation of hope. Wind whispers through the keylock and from my kids buttocks and we huddle inside. Outside, perpetual darkness shudders against the frost. But […]