Today’s Zoflora situation is…inflamatory We’re getting a bit tired of the zoflora situations too, if we’re honest. We’ll do a review soon. Just got to get to Sainsbury’s. In the meantime, though, have you ever tried to light a barby with Zoflora. WHOOSH!

is delighted the world cup countdown is nearly over. Let the games begin!

Look at the state of that fucking sink!!!

another disappointing post. When I learnt Turkish, I learnt the word ‘yok’ which basically meant there isn’t any. But it is expressed in such a way that you could just say noun + yok to convey a whole range of things. It was an awesome word because it meant that with just nouns you could […]

Today’s zoflora situation is chillaxing after an awesome clean yesterday. The pessimist in me sees the dirt and dust which has fallen since the cleaner left. The optimist knows she’ll be back soon. The glass is more than half full

Well, last night was something of a snakebite and black night of the soul. A crush. But today is a new day. Today is a new day, fresh as linen. By the end of today we will be cleaner than the start and that’s all we can pray for. We await the bliss.

My family have been maculating – and don’t worry I had to google that word too – my house for a week. That sounds a bit dirty. You really need to go and look that word up to see that it does not render that sentence Operation Ore worthy. Go on. I can wait here […]

Today bleach and tonic is not in the rudest of health. It’s obscene. Today bleach and tonic is suffering the consequences they so airily dismissed between the seventh and the eighth last night. Last night, Bleach and Tonic cavorted, wild and rude and rolling in landwrecked laughter, shipped adrift on a lake of booze, rolling, […]

Today’s Zoflora situation is drowning not waiving