Things we hate: Dog shit

I. cannot. stand. it.

To me it’s one of the worst things ever. If I ever went into politics this would be one of the first items on my agenda.

I actually put a notice up on our street the other day about it after running through it for the 3rd time in a week.

It was a polite notice. You should have seen the first draft. It threatened to find out where the owners lived and post it through their doors and smear their windows in it, and eventually their faces. I was FUMING.


I got caught sellotaping the notice to the bus stop post by our neighbour opposite who was just walking home (p*ssed) from the pub. ‘Bloody well good on you. It’s about time someone too action’ he slurred across the road, before ambling over to read it. He couldn’t read it. He was hammered. I told him it was about dog shit. ‘I STAND AT THE WINDOW AND GLARE AT THEM AND IF I HAD MY BLOODY WAY I’D HAVE A SAWN OFF SHOT GUN AND I’D TAKE POT SHOTS AT THEM IF I SAW A DOG SO MUCH AS SQUAT’…etc etc.

Extreme? Perhaps. Understandable? Totally.

I don’t agree with the death penalty and I abhor violence. However. However. I see dog shit and the red mist descends.

Is it unreasonable to expect to be able to walk down a pavement or through the park without treading in it or having to scan ahead so I don’t have to spend time I won’t get back with a knife, disinfectant (always domestos bleach) and kitchen roll sorting it out outside in the pissing rain? IS IT?

I’m going to have to stop this post now because I could actually write all day long about this. All day long. Such is the pain it causes me.


Anyway, you’ll see I selected Domestos Bleach to sort it out. I agree with Fred West that in cases like this you need something that means business. Next to a shot gun, Domestos is the next best thing.


F’ck it I’m going to do another post on Dogs. I’m on a roll now.

I need to vent.


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