Truth and Reconciliation with Zoflora Green Valley: Review

Somehow, the word deigns to turn. Bitterly in bed we turn over, full of bile. Bile for Brexit dear reader, for Brexit. Yes, yes I know you’re bored of it now, I know you wish the whole thing would just shut up and move on.


How can we move on? How can we move on, though, when that monstrosity is going to be our next PM?

*Editors Note: Stunning insight from our political editor there.

The country is collapsing. The acrid tang as the fabric of our life distangles

==oh wait that tang is Mrs Gin’s cooking. Luckily we have just the thing to pep it up==

Rats abandon, the stinking shits. Farage, Gove, Cameron. Recriminations abound. The money market goes round and round, foreigners are racially abused in the streets and Tesco (clearly a ‘Remain’) takes revenge on Zoflora green valley’s supposed ‘leave’ credentials. (‘supposed’, that is by us)

You can see Tescos is embarrassed by the Zoflora’s (alleged) pro ‘leave’ stance: they are trying to cover up their stock with a special offer on Rentokil cockroach spray. They shoved that yellow Rentokill unit right over the Zoflora, I had to push it back. Why do they persist in putting fruit and veg at the front of the shop and this nectar on the bottom of the aisle where few people are going to notice it? Idiots! All because Zoflora allegedly voted leave

Again, alleged only by us. As far as we can tell – we can’t use twitter very well – we are the only ones making these potentially ruinously libellous accusations

How accurate these grave charges are, who knows? We are not bright people. We don’t want their hot shot lawyers coming after us.

NB. When we took this and several other photos of the cleaning aisle in Tesco, we greatly embarrassed Mrs Gin:

“God you’re doing that again she said, as, furtive, we got our camera out and started snapping

So, having voted to jump off the cliff we are where we are: fallen and fractured. And somehow we must make the best of it.

As much as we actively hate each and every racist who voted leave, and our vow personally to Farage never to review Zoflora again*, we have to look to the future. And what would our future be without Zoflora? It would be smelly and dirty. Not likening ourselves to Nelson Mandela again, not after the last time, but in his spirit it is time to move on. To embrace Zoflora again, to fall into its chemical embrace. To, yes, to love. So, the website is for turning; a new review of Zoflora Green Valley is coming soon. We could have just posted that, tbf, and skipped the other 500 words. Sorry.

*the vow was made the day before he quit? Coincidence?

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