What we fear and envy most about animals is they have no normal. Looking at our Cat, everything seems new and threatening to it. This must be awful, aye, but exhilarating too. How do you relax when you can be eaten alive at any moment? And yet our cat does. Despite everything appearing to it […]
Tag: Covid
Plague Journal 10: Scaredy Cats
We have a colleague (‘co-worker‘? yuck!). We have a colleague. Yes, they say we are an absolute delight to work with. So positive. Anyway, yesterday on the Zoom they announced, casually mark you, that they had not left the house for a while. When we asked how long – showing compassion, as per HR requirements […]
Plague Journal 9: On sadness
There’s something woefully indulgent when writing about sadness. Yet what is this blog if not indulgent? We claim indulgence as an excuse, we pretend to revel in failure. When we had 10k visitors a month, for a shitty blog about unfunny Zoflora reviews, we stopped posting for 2 years until everyone had left. When we […]
Plague Journal 8: The joy of zooming into co-workers’ houses.
We are of a certain age. Whenever we hear or read ‘Zoom’, our head sings ‘Oh-oh-ohho zoom, you chased the day away’. We are of a certain age, and should know better. We are of a certain age, and an equally poor employment status. Being positive we have not been sacked yet. Hurrah! We are […]
Plague Journal 7: Is Covid a load of bollocks?
Being honest with yourself is terrible advice. The worst. Wait. Almost the worst. The worst – of course – is the execrable ‘Follow your dreams’. Oh we’ve remembered another one which dicked us down good, too: Tell her how you feel. Yeah, thanks Dad. No. Ruby, ruby red. The only way we – like you […]
The Donald J Trump inspired Bleach and Tonic guide to drinking disinfectant
Step 1: Don’t. But don’t you want to? Secretly? If only a bit? Do you ever – upon unloading the dishwasher – look at the serrated edge of the bread knife and imagine plunging it into your disappointing gut? Ever stand near a precipice and imagine the second after jumping? There’d be terror, sure. But […]
Plague Journal 6: “In these difficult times” – a photo gallery
We want to document the collapse of the world we knew. Aside from queues outside of Tescos, there really is not a lot to take photos of though – everyone is stuck at home. Children’s chalk marks on deserted roads perhaps? Good idea. There’s a theme to pep up our aimless meandering aka state mandated […]
Plague journal 5: And yet, and yet we still go on
Three more weeks. Three of the bastards. Three And yet, and yet, what should it matter when every unending hour is uncountable? When the only purpose of every second is to serve as the timer for the relentless tick of the clock?* Let alone the days, let alone the weeks. And yet, and yet. We […]
Plague Journal 4: As if the empty skies.
We should have been in Washington today. Instead we -like you- are at home. Cowering from Covid. In the early morning, after not sleeping, looking at the blue, trailless sky, we hear a jogger run past our bedroom. Awed by the regularity of the runner’s footsteps, calmed by the regularity of their breathing. The sounds […]
Plague Journal 3: Short story interlude
We wrote a short story: A window after landing Alice always liked one lump of sugar in her tea, Steve habitually gave her two. Today he gives her a single cube. He wants to be kind; he’s going to kill her. Murder her, he supposes. He takes the cup to the stairs, has […]