When we did our count down of the top 14 Zofloras of all time, Zoflora Linen Fresh was at both number 1 and number 2. How could it not be? How could it not be? Zoflora Linen Fresh: Too great to just be number one. This is the greatest summit of human achievement of all […]
Tag: Review
Harpic MAX 10: Alien Snot
Maybe we’re mellowing. At one point, we’d have loved this stuff. And at one point we’d have denounced Method Almond Floor Cleaner as nun’s piss. I mean listen to this We used to reserve our floor cleaning for very special occasions—like limbo night or the queen’s visit. but this non-toxic + biodegradable no-wax wood floor […]
Back from the dead like a bullet to the head. SUPER JON STRAKLO
We had a lovely time in Croatia. It’s great being in a different country and seeing different places. We saw the sights: So many sights: And we went shopping to sample the local produce: We decided to review Super Jon based on the name. We already know about Ajax and the like. We wanted something […]
Mr Muscle Toilet POWER strips. More memories of a bygone age
We’ve looked at the dubiously sexist Mr Muscle before Now, reluctantly it must be said, we turn our attention to him once again. We don’t want to (we’d rather just talk about Zoflora all day) but the last review got 10,000 views and to be honest, we need the traffic. I know! 10,000. Mental, right? […]
Live blogging: Zoflora Orchid Review. Part 1
We fled the city, after storms drove us south: That sounds very exciting. Unfortunately, it’s not true. We’re away with work. As Bleach and Tonic by necessity operates under conditions of maximum secrecy, We can’t say where we are exactly, but here is a clue: (It’s Shrewsbury). ‘Shreewsbury’ we say. Others say ‘Shrowsbury’, though. Is […]
Zoflora: Summer Bouquet. Summer hits Manchester England and we melt into tarmac
Manchester, this morning (artistic reconstruction) #Summer time and the living is queasy. We wake up drenched in sweat. Take off our inch thick fleece pyjamas and climb out from under the blanket, the 13 tog duvet and the other blanket. Look out the window. Heavy sun hangs fat in the sky, hazy behind just ten […]
Hob Brite. Burns from the time travel.
Editor’s Note: This is not another review where Ms Tonic or Mr Gin list the best cleaning products to use as suicide aids. You should know that straight away, before reading any further. (Bye bye) By this point, we have to accept that no-one cares about our unhappiness. Why should they? We hardly do, anymore. […]
Waitrose Power Bleach Citrus: Review
Another week done. Bleach and Tonic cavorted ==wild== in Bridgend last week, which, despite the internet containing absolutely everything the human mind can imagine, is nevertheless not a sentence you’d expect to read online. We had a great time, had a motivational speech, a nice dinner (in the ‘Spoons) and a train back to a […]
Dettol Disinfectant Spray. God in his heavens, and the soil, and the detail and Dettol in my Aerosol
We had a lovely holiday, thanks for asking. We – Mr Gin, Mrs Gin and the two little gins – went to the Island of Arran whilst Ms Tonic was on a cold case investigation *somewhere in Europe**. Whilst walking on Arran in rain, I had a massive spiritual awakening. It started off a bit […]
Shake N Vac Lemon: Perfecto Mix
I felt like Indiana Jones finding this as I wandered simultaneously drunken and hungover through the corner shop, grabbing booze and Zoflora willy nilly when I literally stumbled into this treasure. <img src=”http://bleachandtonic.com/content/images/2015/05/indiana-jones-hat-grab-o.gif) Treasure. Priceless treasure in a £1.19 plastic tube. Why don’t Glade have a massive advertising campaign when they launch a new flavour? […]