Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached the summit. What is the greatest Zoflora of all?
Why, it is Linen Fresh of course.
How could it not be? Oh, how could it not? Our first love, and still the greatest.
Everything about this is perfection, from the blue colour of the packaging, to the name, to the smell. The smell, oh the smell. It is, it must be, the smell of heaven.
We have just taken a huge sniff of this, and it has intoxicated us. It’s like being in a cloud, albeit a clean one, serene and alone, with clean thoughts and clean corners and floors. Absolute perfection.
Last night, Ms Tonic raved about her number 1 in the #Top14 Zoflora but we smirked. She raved about Countrygarden, but we knew. We knew and we waited and this morning, the text came through.
“What was I thinking” she said “How could I have doubted it” she said. “Linen Fresh is the greatest”
How right she is, how right. In a fire, I would probably save this before my wife. Cheap, and easily replaceable compared to Zoflora Linen Fresh which is irreplaceable.
We’ve just done the halls. The family is out, the washing machine is on, the windows are open and ‘Screamadelica’ by Primal Scream is blaring out of my mac, and the halls are steaming with this.
Absolute perfection. No other Zoflora would embrace the situation like Linen Fresh does.
Zoflora Linen Fresh, we love you.
Well done. You are number 1 and always will be the greatest.