For reasons which are too tedious to explain, we were recently and reluctantly put on a diet. As a part of this regime, we were asked about our eating habits. This was not a plesant interview. As we lied, we salivated.
“Oh no, generally I am very healthy” we heard ourselves say. We astounded ourselves. far too big a lie, but there was no going back.
To the dietician’s credit, they managed to keep the look of incredulity off their gaunt face.
“Let’s start with breakfast they said”. I could tell I was supposed to be impressed with the professionality of their tone
“So, what do you normally have for breakfast”
“Porridge!” we lied cheerfully. Sometimes, in truth, we did have porridge, but more often than not, half a kit kat. Oh, who are we kidding. It was least one and a half kit kats. We discounted the four or so expressos, figuring they probably wouldn’t be interested.
Almost imperceptably, they shook their head.
Porridge, apparently gives you an insulin spike. What this is, and whether it is a good or a bad thing is lost to us, for what they said next made our ears swim (not literally.)
Apparently, our breakfast was to be eggs. To wit, a three egg omlette.
Now, Bleach and Tonic abhores almost everything except for one thing about eggs*. Chicken’s Period’s we used to call them.
The idea that we would have to eat these – every day – instead of our normal pick me up of ~~2 kit kats~~ some organic porridge dismayed us, deeply. But we determined to make a go of it.
Eggs for breakfast has led to two catastrophic problems. One, we won’t mention, except to say that within 2 weeks, we’d worn out the Bloo Rose Water cistern block – which was supposed to have lasted 8.
The other is the smell. Our kitchen smells disgusting after breakfast. Say what you like about kit kats, and our dietician certainly did, disdain dripping like warm chocolate from their downturned lips, they don’t make your kitchen reek.
I will not tolerate a smelly kitchen. Simple as.
On the other hand, I detest plug in air freshners. To me, these are false gods. They make your house smell clean when it isn’t actually clean. They paint over fundamental cracks. When I become king, there are several things I shall do. On legal advice, I shan’t go into most of them. but one of them would involve getting every plug in air frehsner in the world and burning them all in Trafalgar Square whilst the world’s media and cheering crowds looked on
However, geting back to the review, eggs has led to a delicate problem. I’ve had to do an impromptu Zoflora mop after every breakfast, to remove the stench. It’s getting tiresome. I like to mop at about 10ish, not first thing. So I found I was mopping three times a day; once to get rid of the smell of breakfast, once for cleanliness and once, well, just for the hell of it really.
The anwser to my over-mopping was, as always Zoflora. Specifically, Zoflora Citrus Fresh spray.
God I love citrus fresh.
Spring time in a bottle.
I am reading ‘Reminicences of the Russian Ballet’ at the moment. It is fantastic, though I fear the author would not be pleased with what I am finding fantastic about the book
One of the friendlier names I had for Mrs Gin was ‘My Pocket Battleship’. It was a tongue in cheek reference to both her diminished stature and to her fearsome firepower. It was also a reference to The German Cruiser Admiral Graf Spree, which, if my memory serves me correctly (and I’ll think you will find it has), was scuttled off Uraguay in the early stages of WW2. I’ve not mentioned that to her. She’s not interested in naval history. Most likey, neither are you so let us move on.
This little beatuy – The zoflora not my wife – is just right for impromptu spot cleans. It’s also a handy little air freshner. Just spray a bit about and wallow in the wonder.
So, once again Zoflora has come to my rescue. My kitchen no longer smells like a chicken’s innards, it now smells like heavan.
An added benefit of Zoflora Citrus Fresh Spray and one which they understandably don’t mention on the packaging is that, in the interests of impartiality, I took a huge sniff of this this morning. I have spent the time since most pleasantly. It was quite some time before I realised quite how high I was.
Zoflora Citrus Fresh Spray: Smells like heaven. Gets you higher than the sun
See you next time
Why do the french only eat one egg for Breackfast?
Because they are not, typically, an obese nation.